A big nurse and a con man walk into bar. The bartender says, "I've got the cure for what ails ya." The con man says, "I'll have Sex With Candy."
2 oz spiced rum (Kraken Black Spiced Rum)
1 oz triple sec (Cointreau)
1 oz vodka (Russian Standard)
1 splash grenadine (homemade)
pineapple juice (Dole)
Mix. Pour over ice, in a white wine glass. Fill with pineapple juice. Add a small slice of strawberry and a peppermint.
The nurse replies, "No. He'll have a Lobotomy."
1/2 oz pineapple juice (Dole)
1/2 oz Amaretto (di Saronno)
1/2 oz raspberry liqueur (Chambord)
1/4 oz Champagne (Asti Spumante)
Shake all ingredients except champagne in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a 2-oz shot glass. Top with a bit of champagne.
But instead the bartender serves a Cosmopolitan. Go figure.
1 1/2 oz vodka (Russian Standard)
1 oz cranberry juice (Lakewood Organic Pure Cranberry)
1/2 oz triple sec (Hiram Walker)
1/2 oz lime juice (Santa Cruz Organic)
Combine with ice in a shaker. Shake and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
Highly Pretentious Tasting Notes and Impressions:
- Not something I'd spend $10 on in a restaurant.
- Better than I expected. Probably because I didn't spend $10 on it in a restaurant.
- Using 100 percent pure, no sugar added, fresh pressed/fresh squeezed, not from concentrate, 100% organic fruit juices probably means my homemade cocktail cost me $10.
- Smartly tart and mentally delicious.
Sex With Candy
- Unattractively beige.
- Overly pineapple.
- I'll abstain.
- Lobotomy me!
- Such a shame it's a shot.
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